“Oh, hi! Yes, some help with my bags would be great – thanks!” Okay… Here we go, we have arrived! A new adventure, a new chapter. What’s it going to be like?
I mean, of course I was curious about the lectures, my new room, and the food. However, none of that was as quite as intriguing as the people I was going to meet. I could have the best room, amazing lecture content and think LST is a dream, but if I did not connect with people, it would feel incomplete.
People bring depth. They challenge the deepest parts of you and with it, bring a significance to life that is unmatched. No amount of study, social media, or alone time can quite replace that.
Growing up in the Netherlands, perhaps in an individualistic culture, I am used to a narrative of independence, where we praise the ones who have made it on their own. Those who don’t need to rely on anyone to succeed in life. It sounds admirable to make it on your own as it speaks of strength, determination and courage. However, does it maybe also speak of loneliness? And if so, is the success worth the loss of connection?
Part of me relates to the individualism in that I am an introvert, and I love my own space. There have been moments when relating with people is difficult and I have wondered whether I could live in the woods all by myself. I could live in a cabin, read a book, and just listen to the birds!
Being part of a community, however, involves a level of drama. And when I say drama, I mean that it can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, as iron sharpens iron. You might find your patience is tested the deeper you go into building relationships. Being part of a community can be inconvenient; it will challenge your human nature, your selfishness. It can be dramatic to be faced with yourself!
For one of the theology modules in my first year at LST, we were asked to do a creative reflection on our theological method. I decided to write a poem, addressed to the different aspects of the theological method. Here’s the final part of that poem I wrote, about community:
Mr C. Ommunity,
How can I put into words the joy and frustration you bring?
It’s truly extraordinary the way you manage to annoy me.
People are complicated, oh don’t I know it
You’ve certainly made an effort to show it,
and yet I love you to bits.
I would not want to do faith without you
because I’d lose the richness of connection,
and where would I be without this?
I’d be on a deserted island.
Pretending to be fine all by myself,
solving world peace with my ‘perfect’ theology, but
I’d be lost without a ship because meaning is found in relationship.
So, thank you for helping me see the need to be in community.
Mr C. Ommunity,
you certainly aren’t easy company,
because you seem to know exactly
how to push me over the edge of my patience.
I’ve been hurt by you from time to time,
but somehow, we seem to come through to the other side.
There’s still this belief in me,
that it’s worth the effort to have a cup of coffee.
We’ve been through a lot, and we will continue to be
challenged to see the best in each other when we’re having a rough week.
Thanks for being there for me.
Here’s to more unity.
Yours truly.
The narrative we see in our culture is that life should be easy, smooth, and quick. From same-day delivery to social media-perfection, quick AI answers to pot noodles; the more convenient and faster, the better it is. Community does not work like that. Community takes time, investment, effort. It is not a quick AI answer. However, the joy you receive on the other end of that effort and ‘inconvenience’ is certainly worth the cost. It is after all how we are made; we are relational beings, created in the image of a relational God.
Now, for the slack I’ve given my home country, let me share a value I do appreciate. Dutch people can be known to be fairly direct, and honesty is one of the priorities. As a Dutchie living in the UK, this is a challenging but also beautiful dynamic to bring (all while being culturally sensitive of course!). There is a richness to being part of an international community, because I think each nation reflects an aspect of God’s character. We can learn a lot from each other if we come with an open mind and heart.
My encouragement to you as a theology student is to take that first step towards connection. Maybe you need to take a break from the library and join a student event to get to know your classmates. Maybe you need to make a cup of coffee for someone new or consider which local church you could join. Whatever your first step might be, go for it! You might just discover a new kind of joy and healing along the way.
